Good Monday Morning to all of you...Hope you had a great weekend...welp, we are starting the week off with more rain. I appreciate and respect the rain, but there are those one of a kind people that forget that the rain is more powerful then them, and well, the news is filled with swift water rescues, accidents, and unfortunate deaths....I need to say DUH.
I don't know why people just can't just S-L-O-W down in the rain...and speaking of rain...I hit Joann's & Michaels yesterday. When I left home, it was not raining and by the time I got to the stores...it was more than pouring...
and I had left my umbrella at home...DUH for me...
BUT... never fear...in the back of my car, I always have one of those big ol umbrellas with the clamp so you can hook it onto your chair...I keep it in the car for beach, baseball and soccer games....so I am not to proud...I whipped that thing out and off I went...in my flip flops and all....can you picture me? Yes, it was as dorky as you can picture...at least I was dry.
alright, so onto today....
I have been having BIG bouts of ups and downs lately...and well, it is because I have had ALOT on my mind. Most of it, I have shared, but not the part that I am now going to share with you right now.
Please apply a seat belt to your chair, because this may knock you off, but be assured that I have NOT fallen off of my rocker....
This has been in and on my mind for many months....long before I read Dangerous Surrender...but I believe that finishing the book may have closed the deal for me....
alright....I am pausing.
okay, I am planning on going to Rwanda.
Saddleback is launching a 40 Days Of Purpose to the ENTIRE NATION of Rwanda in March. At some point this year, I plan to commit to going. I am not sure when, nor for how long(approx. 7-9 days). There are many factors to all of this, and although I have talked to John about it and we both would like to go, there are things, including my two kids that I need to think about and lots that I need to put into place here, and it seems best for just one of us to go.
I have always thought that I "Think Globally and Act Locally" and believed that I am only one person...and that I would not be able to change, nor really even make a difference...but I am thinking differently now. I am not out to change the world...but I can make a difference...I have been acting locally for a while now, and there have been strings pulling at me to take another step.( wow...that is a big step)
BUT
I am afraid....afraid to leave my family, afraid to go alone without my family and afraid of the worlds current situation....This is all normal, and completely part of the process but I have been beating myself up on not having enough FAITH to make a decision. There is also ALOT of money to be raised...that part does not scare me, as I have kinda come up with an idea to ratify that. I have added some new art to my ETSY shop today. I will be adding to it as items are sold and all proceeds from the framed art will go into a Rwanda Account. I am praying that as I create art for this purpose, and the account grows, the time will allow me to will help me turn my fear into more faith...and IF, only IF I come to decide that it is not the right time for me to go, well then, that money will go towards another one of the Rwanda teams and to the charities that I contribute to.
Today I am asking you to pray for me...for strength, for clarity and for the right time to take a new step...
I love your heart.
I smiled as I read your post because I can so relate. Going to Africa is a pull on my heart...but fear has kept me home. God will carry you and your family, and is pleased with your obedience. I will pray for you.
Posted by: Karla | January 28, 2008 at 11:05 AM
Sounds exciting!
Posted by: annie | January 28, 2008 at 11:44 AM
Stephanie,
God's timing.
This afternoon, I am sitting at my computer printing out forms for My trip to Africa in June. I have been wanting to go...but scared. You see, my daughters have been asking to go....I was seriously praying about it...but stil so scared. Then right after Christmas, I picked up Dangerous Surrender. I remembered reading about it on your blog. I really didn't know what it was about. God speaks to us in many ways...
Our family is going to Zambia, in June to work as camp counselors for children orphaned by the AIDS crisis. I'd love to hear from you and tell you the rest of the story....
Jeanne
PS And I always wanted a piece of your ART!
Lucky me, that you are putting it on ETSY.
God's timing!
Posted by: jeanne | January 28, 2008 at 11:56 AM
Hi! I was noodling through blogs today and thought you might want to see this one--this girl is going to Uganda soon and saying many of the things you are. Check this out:
http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/
be bold (easy for me to say!)
Posted by: terri | January 28, 2008 at 12:51 PM
I am praying God will make it VERY clear to you and open OR close the doors, whatever His will is. Bless your heart.
Posted by: Sharon in NE | January 28, 2008 at 01:41 PM
You are a woman of courage and faith. I have read your blog for a long time and totally believe that YOU of ALLLLL people can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. You totally inspire me to make a difference in the world. I plan on picking up the book you referenced and perhaps seeing if I can make a difference somewhere!
Posted by: Erin H. | January 28, 2008 at 06:46 PM
what a wonderful thought. I will pray for you that if it is God's plan, then that is what you will do. God Bless you Stephanie. I so wish there were more of you in the world!
Posted by: Sandra Smart | January 28, 2008 at 06:54 PM
Praying for you...this is a big step...a huge step of faith...praying that God guides you in the direction He is leading.
Posted by: Tammy M. | January 28, 2008 at 07:32 PM
Wow, that's amazing Stephanie! Will be praying for you as you make your decisions. And remember... you can always make a little pit stop here with me in South Africa!
blessings
{L}
Posted by: Lara Cousins | January 28, 2008 at 09:56 PM
I will be praying for you. We all know that His plans for you have already been made - we just need to keep the Faith and allow them to unfold.
I'll come stay with the boys and keep everything going so you and your Valentine can go!
Posted by: Susan C. | January 29, 2008 at 05:50 AM
God knows your heart and He is in control, He will make a way and work out every last detail. Its exciting that you are even willing to go, willing to ACT Globally. Its exciting! I will pray for you and the details and for peace. God is so good.
Posted by: Kristi Ottmar | January 29, 2008 at 08:35 AM
Stephanie,
I will be praying for you that the Lord will make things very clear to you. i am sending you an email with a quote that I thought of when I first read this yesterday.
Noël
Posted by: Noël | January 29, 2008 at 02:37 PM
will keep you in prayer and how exciting!!!
remember fear is just
False Evidence Appearing Real!!
Posted by: Yvette | January 29, 2008 at 03:18 PM
Stephanie-
Oh dear one! I am new to your blog, but I will be back daily. Your heart is precious and I love that you share so freely. I understand 100% what you were feeling when you wrote this post, and possibly what you are feeling now. God pulled on my heart strings and led me to Africa on two different occasions - once to Senegal, and once to Burkina Faso. Both trips changed my life and worldview and gave me an better understanding of the Father's heart. I was terrified (I was 16 for the first trip and 18 for the second, I'm 24 now), but determined to follow through with the trips. AND WHAT A BLESSING! Both times I was there for about a month. I say all of this to hopefully encourage you. If you go alone or with your husband (though we are never really alone are we?), God will work through you to impact the lives of the people around you, and YOUR life will be be impacted in ways you would never expect. He will meet you there and you will never be the same.=) Africa is near and dear to my heart -- I left a bit of it on that "dark continent." Please know that I will be praying for you as you make these important decisions. I will be checking your blog daily for updates.
That the nations may praise Him!
Steph
www.moonpie-designs.blogspot.com
Posted by: Steph | March 13, 2008 at 02:03 PM