Crack me open like an egg; peel me like a banana…whatever the method, should you try to dive into my creative mind, you are in for a ride.
It is hard for me to sleep. My mind does not shut off. It is hard for me to read, because I could be inspired by something and I loose focus. It is hard for me to talk about one thing because it always leads to something else…sometimes similar…sometimes way off of the beaten path.
Regardless of my quirks, passions, struggles, complications and “pin ball machine” brain, I am who I am, and instead of trying to change things, I am focused on learning to embrace the good and the not as good.
I mentioned in one of my very few South Africa blog posts that I felt as if I were blooming. I think that came from the fact that I was in a very far away place, with only me to look after…and a whole lot of time to focus, to pay attention and to learn.
During my trip, I was briefly and unprofessionally “analyzed” on four basic characteristics of a person. I was introduced to what each trait was, and then was asked to put myself on the chart. My thoughts and perceptions of who I thought I was, versus what others see, were way different. I must say, it is actually interesting, in a neutral setting, like at a dining room table, surrounded my markers, papers, adhesive, rub-ons…and tea, to listen to how someone else see’s you. The old me…maybe 10 years ago…okay, maybe 7…would have cried, had her “feelers” hurt, or maybe would have been offended……but, amazingly, my feelings were not hurt. Okay, maybe I was temporarily bothered a bit, but the almost 40 year old “wiser” me, took the comment as a way to look a little closer.
Do I look for or seem to need attention? I do not think so…but for the second time (as far as I know!) in my life, I was told, face to face, that I do. Now I know that opinions of others are exactly those…just opinions….but this time, I had to stop & consider the similarities in the comparisons.
Here is “one of those times” when I had to embrace the good with the maybe not so good characteristics I harbor. It has taken me a few days of inconsistently thinking about it (meaning it did not consume my mind. praise GOD!..(old me).
After thinking about it about, I have justified my “possible” need for attention (using my long arms 
and sometimes obnoxious behavior) to make it more easy for me to share personal and not so personal situations on a blog that is read around the world. This “trait” has also enabled me to step out of my comfort zone ( a.k.a box) and go into places where I am able to learn, absorb and grow…(aka South Africa)
Is “my need” due to a lack of confidence? Maybe….but not as lacking as it used to be. I grew up lacking confidence. Why, I do not know. I was raised, and am still raised with a very stable and supportive family….the confidence thing stemmed probably from my own self inflictions…taking something simple and complicating it. We all battle with self confidence, and some 40 years later, it is nice to say…that it is okay. I am over it…whew!
These past two weeks in South Africa allowed me to accomplish so many things and I am forever grateful for the opportunity that Lara provided. I learned more about me, about the world…and about people. One of the best things I learned, besides how incredibly lucky we were to see the “Big Five” in one day…. Is that I can step out of my comfort zone, travel around the entire globe and land in a room full of creative women, of whom none I have ever met, and fit right in…instantly
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The women of South Africa (okay, and the men Hennie & Dave) are simply lovely. Just wonderful, welcoming, inviting, hospitable, sweet, kind….and add on being creative…with paper, photos, glue sticks, beads, ribbons,..and now doodlers…was icing on the chocolate cake that Lara made from scratch!
Seeing the way people interact with each other the way I did, made me realize our, or at least my life is wayyyy toooo fastttt paced. I am sure there are many comparisons I can make, but in the “CreaTive way of LiFe” we, Americans, are totally missing the goodness, peace and comfort of being together with friends, sisters, neighbors, and in my case…me being the foreigner with the accent (huh??..they have accents!) a total stranger…coming right in a being at home.
It reaffirmed my feelings of needing, wanting and creating time for women to come together, to enjoy each others company, to enjoy each others joys and embrace their sorrows, to create together using paper, fabric, and to share in tea time twice a day.
Being out in the “bush” I witnessed something that I can not completely digest quite yet. It is hard to describe it, let alone try to explain it.
The best and easiest way I can put it is that I witnessed & felt the earth. .
I felt life.
I watched & felt the sun rise and the sun set
I witnessed, smelled & heard beauty.
I examined poverty and my heart still aches.
I experienced a sense of calm that I am trying to retain..
I felt and absorbed the air.
I saw an elephant smile...
I started to bloom.
I stepped out of my box, handed everything over to GOD and made it through with phenomenal memories..and more..so much, that I am already ready to go back.
My family is not ready for me to go anywhere, which is also a very good reaffirmation or our love for each other.
My trip reaffirmed my ever growing beliefs in god, in the world, in people…and of course in paper crafting!...duh!
Does it mean that it is right or wrong, I mean, my need for attention….no, in fact, if this makes sense, this is an equal opportunity blog that you can read for the funny of it ..or for the real life stuff it contains. Take from it what you need…and be reminded of the little things your already knew…you just forgot to remember….
I will close with this..
Life is pretty darn wonderful when you can sit on the deck, paint with watercolors and knit, watching 
the elephants play in the mud!
Thank you South Africa..thank you Lara & Dave…See you soon!
