On my Mind

Today's quote from Foundation For a Better Life...

“Two kinds of gratitude: The sudden kind we feel for what we take; the larger kind we feel for what we give.”

—Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869-1935); poet, winner of three Pulitzer Prizes

Now...I know that I cannot save the world....BUT it does not mean that I should just sit back and wish that I could. 

That sounds wrong...I don't wish to save the world.  There is only ONE person that can do it..and it is not a coincidence that the one that can save it...is the one who created it.....hmmmmmm....

sounds soo.......wise, huh???

not bad for a regular ol' girl that has laundry to fold, homework to help with, carpool duties, soccer practice drop offs, bible study homework, dinners to plan, prayers to be said, lunch's to make, husband & kids to love, family& friends to be grateful for, holiday gatherings, to plan, pumpkin carving party plans, dogs to feed, fish bowls to clean, roses to trim, neighbors to love, crosswalks to cross...oh and a big ol decision to make on who the heck to vote for..for President...

just like you...I have lots on my mind, lots to do, lots of issues and decisions to make....on a fairly regular hourly basis.  It is so mind consuming, that sometimes, you just implode, explode...or just shut down. 

Now, my body is finally coming around to semi-normal (not that it started off normal!) but I am feeling better by the day.  While in Africa, I was in and at hat felt like total peace.  very content. very calm (except for the first day, as I had my head in the toilet (insert sad face..or yucky face)

anyway...

it has been almost a week since I started my journey home...and since this post seems to be getting a little "deep"..I will start your Monday with a silly story before I wrap up my thoughts....

Somewhere in between Paris & the United States, probably about 15 or so hours into our journey home..I was fast asleep (i know...surprising, huh?)...okay....you need to visualize this.....15 hours on a airplane, bright orange ear plugs in my ears, light blue fabric sleeping mask on....head tilted to the left....

I wake up, and without taking off the mask  or removing the earplugs....I spit something out of my mouth & onto my hand.....

I remove the sleeping mask....

it is 1/2 of one of my teeth.

whhhatttttttttttttt?  I was sleeping....my tooth...and of course I go to say something and the air hits the nerve...

I immediately thank god for allowing this to happen on the way home instead of the way there...but honesty, in my sleep??? on a plane 35,000+ feet in the air...

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE....

Needless to say, first thing Wednesday morning, I wasagain made qQueen by receiving a crown.  A memory for the books...and the fact that I grind my teeth when I sleep..no wonder I wake up with headaches...duh!

back to my point , to the quote above...and the title of this blog....

while spending a ridiculous amount of time in the dentist chair (did you know they can make a permanent crown in one day now????...except for it took the entire day!!!!!) these sights were on my mind...

This is Soweto.  We spent an entire day here, with a guide.  We learned the history, heard the stories, drove the streets and witnessed the poverty, from the comfort of the back seat of a car. I thought I would cry.  I kinda got a heads up from Margie & Stacy, and expected to break down...rather, I was speechless and in shock...THE ENTIRE DAY. still am.

   

and the thing that made me even more frazzled..is that instead of staring out the window and just looking, watching and starring....in the safety of my rolled up window and locked door, I waved and smiled at almost each pair of eyes I met...and the return was instant.  BIG smiles...and happy waves.

It still makes me confused and disturbed. 

DISTURBED is the perfect word.  Disturbed because despite the conditions..I saw alot of smiles....

now, rewind back ...I met an absolutely beautiful, lovely, god loving women the first day I arrived...

little did I know..until a few days after our day in Soweto..that she lives here...and you would never know...nor EVER be able to imagine it.

okay, I am feeling a little bit like Angelina Jolie (minus the fifty kids...and who needs Brad Pitt...I got my own Valentine)....

anyways..the conditions are disastrous...I can not explain begin to explain it...seriously....my heart aches....not only for everyone there...but also for this sweet, sweet women...and her children..and her children's children...

that live together...in a TINY space...all together...with only one bed...and that is about it. 

now...I know that I can not change the world...but... I can  help to better her world...and her children's world...and her children's children's world....through the gifts and talents that GOD has given me....

Not sure how yet....but just like helping a little here and there to benefit Breast Caner Awareness....and Team Ham in honor of Micah....and sending out strings of LOVE....

There is something we must do...or at least do to make a difference in a life..because it has a domino effect...

we help her...

it helps her son..

and her other son..

and her daughter....

and her daughters daughter.....(which is only 7 months old)

(deep breath)

I could sound like John McCain right now and say "FRIENDS".....but honestly...in the papercafting, family  friend loving, laundry folding life I lead...I am capable of doing something besides listening to the stock market hit the bottom of the pit, the sound of dollar bills trying to cram themselves into my gas tank...the constant accusations of whether or not Sarah Palin is a diva...and the growing concerns on whether A-ROD is buying a New York apartment near Madonna's....

the thing that clears my mind and re-adjusts my disturbed mind over all of this muck-ity-muck is the fact that we need to stay focused, keep breathing and pray...

and for gosh sakes...

"Don't Panic"...and PRAY!

I gotta go adjust my crown...all of this aggressive and disturbed typing makes me fussy...which is good...because the fussy is fuel for me to make a conscience effort to change...even if it is one family...at a time!!!

Comments

[SusanC]

Whew - today's post makes me all the more sure that each of us can do SOMETHING for others less fortunate. I love the quote - so true! If you are ready to do an auction - I am ready with a bid!

[Lisa H.]

Steph,
What can I do to help?? Count me in! Maybe we should have one big ole auction on here and help this family with the proceeds? Let me know how I can help. :)
Have a great day!
Happy Scrappin'!
Lisa H. in Arkansas

[Tara]

Your blog is so inspiring!! You are such a wonderful woman. Seeing you go to Africa makes me want to go! And how in the world did you get to become such a good doodler? I doodle all the time, but am not NEAR as good as you are! I wish you lived closer.. I would come to EVERY class you taught! :)

[Leslie Rudden]

Gosh, Stephanie, your words really have resonated with me today because, the first time I went to Honduras on missions, all I kept seeing were happy, smiling faces in the middle of some of the poorest conditions. I was in the midst of true joy times each of the 300 little faces I sang with each day! The children's eyes were what really grabbed me. They had so little (so I thought) yet were so happy. It really puts our whole, material obsessed lives in perspective, doesn't it? Each time I return, I wish I could stay. I tell people that I want to bottle up all that joy and give all the kids here a drink! Jeez, if it were that easy. Barefoot, no computers, no video games, no tv or cell phones, but such joy! UGH! I want that, darn it!

My biggest challenge is that, when I'm on missions, I feel so close to God and it's hard to "sustain that feeling" when I return to "the real world." I'm sure that happens alot but I'm still bothered by it.

I'm sure you feel like I do. After being among all that joy, my life will never be thet same. I don't look at things the same way anymore. "Stuff" is just that: STUFF! However, I love my stuff and, since I'm in the middle of packing and moving, I'm smack dab in the middle of THAT quandry. I will perservere and, once of these day, I hope to get it right or at least somewhat right.

Have a super day! Blessings!

[Sara M]

Thanks so much for sharing your heart! I feel the same way about China. I would love to help you do something to help!
Sara

[Suzanne]

i also would love to save the world, but like you, cannot. but one family, or even one person, i can help do that! please count me in!
suzanne
high springs, fl

[Sandra Smart]

all I can say Stephanie is that you are such a wonderful person. You have been so blessed in your life but you never hesitate for one moment to spread those blessings among others less fortunate. God Bless you!

[Jennifer Scull]

your quote was very inspirational today. gave me quite a bit to think about. thank you for all that you do!

[Helen Tilbury]

Hi Stephanie!
Have left a comment on Lara's blog re: buying a banner for R150. Was 'supposed' to e mail her but can't see her address on her blog so have asked her to get back to me. Sure you are the great doodler so here are my details. You can view my blog @ helentilbury.blogspot.com to get an idea of colours. Would like Pinks, greys, black, white & maybe a touch of the darker shade of magenta? as these are the colours I am sticking with at the moment...all the shades you see on my blog. Would like the title Scrap Addict & some sort of emblem, but not hearts or flowers...not sure? Thinking hard...Also need to know how I go about paying & how I 'get it' from you??? And, most importantly, how I get it onto my blog...My template may not work for it as I only seem to have a small banner space at the top...maybe you could advise me? Much appreciated, Helen Tilbury