Homegrown Hospitality

Whoops.

I am weeks deep into a very intentional study on a book called Replenish by Lance Witt.  The book is written about spiritual leadership & soul health, well and burnout (and everything else in between) in regards to church leadership & ministry.  

As we get to the last few chapters, we are recognizing that the second 1/2 of the book really applies just as easily to life (and not just church leadership) and I may be quoting this book for awhile because as much as I have learned without the book, I am recognizing more truths as I get through the book...

I have slightly re-written the passage from page 94 changing the "we" to "I" and I have a hunch you  will totally get it:

Sound familiar or ring a bell?

SIMPLY COMPLICATED.

This was 100% me several years ago and sometimes, because of the crazy world of judgement, culture, opinions and random yuck we live in, well and really because Adam ate the apple (and blamed it on Eve) those tendencies try to rear its ugly self into my life..more often than I like.  

whoops.

Thanks, Adam.

fail.

human, duh.

It happens...

Way to go Eve.

When the whirling dervishness creeps up, I am able to recognize the symptoms because I have been there, done that.  I had to feel the fail to learn from it.

Note To Self:  Trying to do everything for everyone all the time instead of living for an audience of one is not a good idea.

Just sayin.

Out of My Hands

I had about 7 minutes.

I was in between a big airplane and a small one.  

Going from two pilots, a full crew and complimentary drinks twice in the flight to Snoopy flying a plane, one crew member and an aisle between seats that was to narrow to have a service cart go up and down when I got the call...

and another and another and another..and then a text, and another..and another.

I started to feel my knees buckle and for a brief 100th of a second thought "turn around and go home" even though it was a very minor "issue"..very minor.   For a twelve year old that doesn't like when his momma goes away from home, the minor issue probably seemed HUGE and because when I was twelve and I did not like when my momma went away, I knew what he was feeling.

DEEP BREATH...

Outside the window, Snoopy was up on a ladder starting to spin the propellers on the plane to get the engine started when the call came over the intercom bullhorn that it was time to board....

Me being me, being a mom that is now across the country from home, has a phone vibrating in her pocket and is watching snoopy wipe the dew off of the plane window that is the size of a small fish aquarium, I had to pull up my boot straps, take a deep breath, walk out onto the runway to climb that ladder to get to the plane and just get to my seat all-the-while trying to ignore the buzzing of the vibrating phone...shoot..I needed to turn off my phone so snoopy could fly the damn plane (sorry for the language).

I got to my seat, buckled in, shut my eyes and prayed it away.

PRAYED THROUGH IT and GAVE IT AWAY.

Moral and lesson of the story = There was nothing I could do, but exactly what I did which was all I could do.

Let it go and let GOD have it.  It was out of my hands..and into His, like a hot potato.

whew.

Little did I know that the above story would be exactly what I needed to go through to be able to turn it into art for the prompt that Courtney was going to send me..

Always know that something you are going through is for a reason. You have to "Go through it to grow though it", challenges lead to growth whether you are 12 or 40 something, and as the book "The Seed" quotes on page 98:

Give it to God...HE can handle it...and get going on what you are supposed to be doing.

Right Now.

Before I starting this post this morning or even knew what I was going to write about, I read Mel's newest blog post (and I suggest that after you are done here, you hightail it over there to be lulled by her amazing writing....) then I opened up "The Seed" to this highligted excerpt (remember, I told you I highlighted most of the book...) and knew what I was going to write about.

Don't miss what is all around you right now....because of the muck, the mess and the fear. Please open your eyes...

It was dark when I arrived in PA on Thursday night and this is the first thing I saw Friday morning as opened the curtains from my room in Pennsylvania.

Maybe you will understand it, or maybe you won't...but it made me gasp, I think my heart skipped a beat..and I KNEW I was right where I was supposed to be and had I buckled in fear, I would have missed this sight.  The dark sky, the bright barn, the rusted roof....the green life all around....Do not miss the life all around you right now.

All of the Above

WARNING: A LONG ONE...Grab some coffee, tea...or drink of choice.

We all have a specific "purpose" and several years ago, when I not only "heard" that, but took it SERIOUSLY did I "get it" (no, not "my purpose" but the entire scope of what it means)  

I was EXCITED to know WHAT my purpose was, because I never really "knew" what I wanted to "be" when I grew up besides a wife, a mom and a PTA member (hold your comments !!!!).

Insert screeching breaks....

Ummm...It is not like you stand in line, wait your turn and then be handed a slip of paper that tells you what your Purpose is and, "Duh"...it's not really what "we want to be"... (I thought I had to figure it out...)

 

NOPE.

Our individual purpose is "what we were created to be" and up until a handful of years ago, did I REALLY get it...and I had to "grow through" what I had to go through* to understand it all and now I get it. I mean, I got it...

My Purpose, that is...

and here is the thing, everyone else around you may be able to "see" it and "know it" and even tell you what "it", your purpose is, but until you REALLY get it, you don't...

Oh, I hope I have not lost you because here it is:

I am starting to feel, think and see things differently than I really ever have before and with that, I have to say...

It's not about scrapbooking...(duh)

or doodling.. (eek!)

or making things from paper..(drat!)

or baking things from dough and batter..(whatttt????)

or stitching things from felt...(gulp!)

or painting, stamping or really anything thing else....It, MY PURPOSE is about inspiring, influencing, teaching, reminding and loving all of the above and creating a community around it.

Insert falling confetti, letting colorful balloons fly, blowing party horns, clicking heels like a leprechaun, lighting fireworks..

It only took 42.75 years to figure it out..now I have 42.75 years, give or take, to work it. 

 

Thank YOU for being part of my PURPOSE!

amen.

Practice:Process

It is Saturday, January 21..5:15am...it is raining, it is quiet...everyone is asleep (even coco) and I am working, thinking, listening, doodling, reading, absorbing and something just clicked...a big click....I want to shout..LOUD...but I can't...because it is 5:15 and it would mess up my quiet and for sure wake up the dog, and then he would whine for a bone, and then it would just go a tad downhill from there...so for now... lucky you..you get my silent shout!

Fastfoward...7:30 am

Dog is awake...so is the Valentine..still raining, coffee pot empty...still raining...thoughts down...dreams spoken...doodle doodled and just so you know....I am getting it..seeing more of the big picture

and along with that...YOU are a HUGE part of my process...

So thank you! 

"Buck the System"

I know that the world is broken, that people are a total wreck and messed up, that we are in a recession, that we are all tired, sometimes just want to give up, that it is going to get a little bit worse before it starts to get better (yippee..aren't you glad you stopped here!) and that your frustration with the issues at hand might even make you want to exchange a letter or two in the title of today's post to read something else....

I KNOW and UNDERSTAND ALL OF THIS so please do not misunderstand me and think that I am unaware, uninformed,  live in a bubble or think that a cute little Hello Kitty band-aid doodled over the globe is going to make things better. I am not and I don't, plus we live in a "boy" house...no Hello Kitty here...

But really, what are you going to do???

Give up?

Give in?

Throw in the ol' towel?

If you are still reading, I would, however, like you to understand me and the "steam behind my engine." That when the times get tough, I feel myself get tougher, stronger (insert "the eye of the Tiger" Rocky song) and I get really motivated to "buck the system" (whatever that means) without stopping and sitting in protest, yelling and screaming, (okay, I do cry a little, but not for that long,)  All those things do is take up time and energy and shoot, I have two very active boys and a husband that need love, food and clean clothes. No time for a protest on "who's fault it is"

If you want to blame someone, blame Adam and Eve..they started it all. (okay, that would really make a GREAT protest sign)

I just wanted you to know that I do understand and did not want you to misunderstand me by thinking that if you just use a little decoupage and cover up the crap in life, the economic problems and basic brokenness of the world with patterned paper, edge it with glitter, add a few eyelets to the top and tie a string through them, that it will make everything just disappear...

It won't

BUT (there it is again)

I refuse to just sit, stew, pout, fuss, cry and point fingers. 

I choose to remind myself and others.

" Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9(TNIV)

Got Faith?

WARNING... it's a long one.

Ya know, just when I think that I have "it" (faith) pretty strengthened up..I hit a fork in my little country road. Seriously, if there is going to be anything in front of me on a little country road, i'd prefer it to be this:

 
not a fork.

Now..before I go on, for my newer readers, I often refer to myself as "Simply Complicated" which means I am really a very simple girl...I just tend to "Complicate" things...(you might be one too...I think most girls are..we should start a club!.)

Anyways....right on my little country road, a big ol' carload of "Doubt" drives up, the "what if's" show up uninvited and the "I wonders", a little "fret", a bunch of "anxiety", yes...even a little "sweat" start knockin' at my door like it is Halloween and I am giving out the big candy bars!

DANG IT!

So with the the ol' fork in the road for the past few weeks now, I have been arm wrestling with myself (and have not been winning...nor losing) been talking, discussing and arguing, again, WITH MYSELF(in private!) and "PUSHing"(praying until something happens) like there is no tomorrow...Meanwhile, continuing to make lists, over think things, re-think things and then make more lists while the ol' fork continues to stay right in the middle of my little country the road.  Just sitting there, whistling away like there's not a care in the world...and I swear it seems to be looking at me...laughing, well at least waving at me saying "Hiiiiii, I am still here".

Then today...it happened.

The "Simple" me rose above the "Complicated" me and I can once again answer my own blog post title for today...

"Got Faith?"

yes, i do.

 

and a little side note...as I was typing this post, my computer locked up THREE times and I had to start over...I think it was the fork being bitter. Who's laughing now Mr. Fork???

A Reflection

This is what choosing to "see" joy looks like to me when I take EARLY morning Pennsylvania walks.  Most of you know that I am a real baby when it comes to leaving the security of my own home....

You see, the thing is, when I go to PA, it does not happen. The extreme anxiety, the home-sickness for weeks and the last minute "I don't wanna go's" even when I know that Snoopy has to fly the little plane.  I seem to be able to see, feel and experience things differently than anywhere else (besides South Africa) and it is a beautiful thing. Just what I need (probably four times a year until at least retirement age...sorry Mr. Shuck!!)

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Josh 1:9

 
Here is a look at what I see and ultimately, how I feel....

A sturdy metal roof & strong red bricks that provide strength and protection...a weathered fence that stands strong inside a small concrete hedge to protect the surroundings..a parked bicycle that is ready for free and random pedaling...life that is thriving and the perfect splash of color against the weathered fence and the old red brick...a tiny patio that is the perfect place to sit and watch the trains go by, to watch the mountain of trees change colors and to watch the snow fall....even the right place for trash cans to be tucked away... years and years of history...age...a place nestled and protected between others...a sense of security & peace.

Do not get me wrong and think I am just in la la land...dreaming of "a white Christmas" and just plain cuckoo...(hold your comments, Mr. Shuck!) I am sure that it also has rusty pipes, leaks, saggy rain gutters, broken windows, damaged interiors and weak spots...shall I even dare say.. a rodent..or two (ugghh) but..

Don't we all ??? I do..and I will admit it all day long..if you'll listen...BUT (here comes the point)

It is the "Bless in the Mess" that we MUST find. (key word "Must")

Really, I can not tell you how necessary and IMPORTANT it is to slow down and become more aware and intentional because there are messes at every corner (and on the walks in-between the corners!) and if you choose to only focus on the messes (or better yet, choose to ignore them) whelp, sadly...you will miss experiences and the beauty of everything else around...

and for the Love of Pete...don't do that!

Messes, no matter how messy they are, keep us on our toes, keep us focused,  on track, tuned in and aware of changes that happen, the changes that need to be made and the possibilities of something better!

Thank you PA..for assisting me on focusing and renewing my spirit again. 

He...

is 15.90 years old just made his first big purchase.

Nope..not a car (praise the Lord!)

..a skim board.

When I looked in on him the next morning, all I could see is him being 1.90 years old...sleeping with his winnie the pooh...

 
He is growing up too fast and this will probably be one of the LAST times his momma "gets" to drive him and his friends to the beach, let alone, stand off to the side to take photos.  (hmmm...wonder what he is looking at...or better, WHO he is looking at cuz he ain't lookin at me!)

It is all going to fast...and I am really try to remain calm and soak it in...from underneath the dang umbrella!