...I used to blog every single day.
I was reminded of that when Meg was talking about blogging on the Mom Struggling Well Podcast episode #204. Back when there were blogs and magazines. No followers, no friends, no Pinterest, nothing but simple connection through 12 and 24 hour crops at the local scrapbook stores, blog hops and being published in Simple Scrapbooks & Creating Keepsakes.
I blogged a total of 24 times in 2019.
While that averages out to 2 times a month (I am so good at math) there were actual months when there was nothing. I suppose Instagram and Facebook have taken the place of blogs but it also has made us "swipers" that don't stop to read anything that is longer than a sentence or two and then we swipe onto the next thing.
So here I sit, at 4:54 am in a very quiet house with a cup of coffee ready to share with you what has been going on in my life in-between the 24 times I blogged this year. As I type this, I do wonder if anyone even reads this but its okay, this is sort of like journaling without a pen or paper.
So let's start with journaling and Bible Journaling.
I want to start with this: for me, it is about the purpose. The purpose of journaling and documenting with God is doing in me and through me. It is where my art and faith truly collided into a beautiful practice of spending time in the word with a few supplies.
For me, Bible journaling is and remains to be personal. Its between me and Jesus. That doesn't mean I can't or won't share it. It just isn't about all the products.
As many of you know, I had a product line of "my art" that was created to use in your Bible Journaling and creative endeavors. Just like the creative "scrapbook" industry, every six months a new line was released when the big trade show came to town. Then the every six months wasn't enough for consumers and "mid-releases" emerged so on top of every six months, it became every three...every two and then, with the big boom of "planners," product was wanted every month. 
Then I wrote a book about it. Bible Journaling for The Inspired Artist. (Um, I just looked and it's on sale for $5.25!!!) you can still find it on Amazon and at a few stores nationwide, but writing the book just.about.broke.me. Between the product lines and the book, I found myself in a world of hustling, filming, recording, scheduling and traveling to "buy my stuff."
Okay, let's just stop here for a moment. I just reread the above and I must seem and sound like a spoiled rotten baby.
I am pretty sure I wanted all of those things, but partly, gulp, for the wrong reason. I am realizing now looking back that maybe if some one saw my name on something or see me represented by someone, they'd see ME.
Except for, it's not about me.
I say that with confidence now, because I had no confidence back then. Well, sorta. I must have had some confidence to go, do, share, teach and travel the places I did, but part of me was hustling and striving.
I wasn't made to hustle and strive.
I tried but realized after years of forcing myself to try, to get it, to work harder, I suppose you could say I failed. But I failed in the best possible way..because I tried. It's just not me and it's not that I couldn't keep up. I can create art every day, and for that, I am grateful to God for that gift, but I did not want to keep up. All I need is my Bible, a journal and a pen.
I was not made to keep up.
In the middle of 2018, after finishing a Bible study, I was reminded to surrender my business to God. I did. Then 6 months later, at the end of 2018, I fully surrendered my product line, Documented Faith back to the company that so graciously gave me all the chances and all of the time I needed.
To be continued....
